The Cat Lair: An Introduction

I have 14 cats (to date) in my household. All of them are indoor cats, so they basically lord it over the place.

How did I end up with 14 cats, you may ask?

My box. Go away. - Caramel

First and foremost, I rescue cats. My original Manila cat -- Caramel -- was a rescue from my old
place in Sta. Mesa, Manila. Picked her up one evening after a very heavy downpour. She was still a kitten at that time, probably around three months. Poor thing was meowing pitifully by the gutter across the street. I initially didn't want to pick her up because I previously had a painful experience with cats I adopted when I stayed in Cebu. (Long story, will probably save that for a future blog post.) Anyway, after two days of trying to ignore this kitten's cries, I finally picked it up. Her markings were barely recognizable from all the dirt and gunk on her fur. I prepared a bowl of sardines for her and the little survivor lapped it all up. Then as soon as she had her fill, she proceeded to a crate I turned into a makeshift electric fan stand, curled up, and had the first fitful sleep she probably ever had since she was discarded. A few hours later, I gave her her first-ever bath and it was there when I finally saw what a beautiful orange-and-white kitty she was with those almond-shaped eyes.

Sexy and I knowz it. - Pretty

At around the same time that Caramel arrived in my life, another feline literally barged in my room to mess my life up good. She was among the next-door neighbor's numerous cats whom I aptly christened, Pretty. She was a beautiful tortoiseshell cat with the most expressive eyes, and probably around a year old or more already when she showed up at my doorstep. When she did, she demanded that she be let in to hang out and eat with Caramel. How can I deny her after her playful head boops and her slinking on my legs? This little lady would pop in and stay for several hours at a time then go home just before lights out.

The trouble with Pretty was that she was allowed outdoors (Obvious ba?), and I would sometimes find her gallivanting with the neighborhood tomcats. Thus, she would eventually get herself pregnant. And when she would go into labor, she preferred using my space as her personal lying-in hospital for birthing. She knew that I would never hurt any of her kittens nor would I have the heart to throw them away and thus, I ended up as her free human kitten sitter.

So from a single cat, my Sta. Mesa crib turned into my first Cat Lair!

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After two more births in my room, Pretty suddenly just vanished and never visited again. I assumed that our next-door neighbor disposed of her in the nearby Pasig River. And with that, I was left to fend for myself and this explosion of feline young 'uns.

Soon enough, my litter of cats grew up and started mating with each other -- including Caramel. Since I did not plan for that many cats to come into my life, I also had no means to have them spayed or neutered. Thus, more kittens came -- only for most of them to die before they reached their first year due to inbreeding health problems. So in a way, they were also controlling their own population.

At that point, the most important thing was that Caramel and the kittens Pretty left behind had a roof over their heads, food in their bowls, clean water to drink, and all the love I could muster.

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When my family transferred to Manila in November 2013 after the deluge that was Yolanda, my Sta. Mesa room was no longer appropriate for three humans and 10+ cats. With the help of a high school batchmate, I found a townhouse in Pasig City where the owners weren't averse to lessees with pets, let alone a big litter of cats. It's situated in a part of the city where everything is accessible to us. Plus, not even Typhoon Ondoy was able to submerge the area in flood. It's definitely bigger than our old Cat Lair in Sta. Mesa, and the cats have more room to run and play in. It's perfect for a flood-traumatized family and a big family of spoiled felines.

And thus, Pasig City is now home to the bigger and better Cat Lair!

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If I'm going to enumerate all the cats that have come and gone through the Cat Lair (both the Sta. Mesa and the Pasig ones), this post will take forever to finish. For now, allow me to feature my current stable of fur-babies. Note that they have been placed in several categories:

My Elders / the Bacood (Sta. Mesa) Cats: They were born in my Sta. Mesa room. The two boys are the last of Pretty's living offspring while the girl (oops, sorry -- PRINCESS, not girl) is Caramel's only living baby.

Slick - A gray-striped tomcat with a really big head. As of the moment, he's at the top of the male hierarchy in the Cat Lair. He actually looks like your generic bedraggled stray, only cleaner and healthier. He's the only feline in the Cat Lair with piercing green eyes. My mom's initial reaction when she first laid eyes on Slick: "Kamukha ni Satanas (He looks like Satan)!" His looks do deceive, though: he's into butt-booping and curling his tail around my legs when he's in the mood for cuddles.

Those green eyes...

Yoda - Came from the same litter as Slick. Ginger and white. Also has a big head. A little more maldito than Slick but still offers butt boops and tail curls when he's in the mood. The pedophile among the males. Favors younger ladies, sometimes eventually mauling female kittens to their doom. Loves to stare at his humans and judge them. ("Sissies, ol of u hairlezz hoomins.")

I'd rather sleep than look at you sissies. - Yoda

Tart - She's much younger than Yoda and Slick but still the eldest among the Cat Lair's female feline population. She's the product of the pairing between Yoda and Caramel, which is why she proudly wears ginger and white colors on her fur. The daughter calls her a Vampire Cat because even at around three years old, she still looks like, and is the size of, a kitten. Her small body frame gave us major problems when she first went into heat. She got pregnant but when it was time for her to give birth, her birth canal was too small for her kittens to come out. The kits died eventually in her belly, and she would've kicked the bucket too if she wasn't opened up and cleaned inside. She got opened up again, this time, to be spayed once and for all. Because of these two operations, she now feels that she's fragile and needs special attention. Ergo, the Princess monicker.

Where's my tiara? - Tart

The Rescues: Caramel has since left me and gone to the Rainbow Bridge. However, two new cats have stepped into her shoes/paws (?) for being my successful rescues.

Kooky - The daughter and I were about to go around the corner to our Sta. Mesa crib when we noticed a cat inside a really small cage on the patio of our neighbor's house. Both of us know that a cage is no place for a cat so we approached it and found a forlorn Siamese kitten. The cage itself where the kitten was in was as filthy as heck. It was obvious that our neighbors had no effing idea on how to properly care for a cat so I knocked at their door and told them I wanted that kitten. The neighbor initially hesitated and was even planning on selling it to another neighbor who was more of a dog person than a cat person but I put my foot down and told them that they'll just be shortening that kitty's sad life by doing so. I offered them P500 for the kitten (then named Kinchay, yuck) and the neighbor relented. I got the kitten, bathed it, gave it good food and clean water to drink, renamed it to Kooky, brought her with the rest of the cats to Pasig, and she grew up to become the Queen of the Cat Lair.

I take over this space now, slave. - Kooky

Squeegee - I went out one evening to take out the trash when, just before I opened the gate, I came upon a small set of eyes peering at me from beside the garbage can. When I looked at it more closely, it turned out to be a little tortoiseshell kitten. I initially thought that it squeezed itself through the slots of our gate to get inside. That time, I had no intentions of adopting another outside cat after a bout with a virus brought by another stray that almost wiped out my cat population, so I just gave it some food and closed the door on it with the thought that when it had its fill, it will just squeeze itself out and be on its way. However, when I opened the door after about an hour, the little thing was still there, this time with that Puss-in-Boots stare that said, "Kind Ma'am, please let me in...please, please, please..." I let it in then noticed how it was limping on one of its hind legs. It was then when I realized that this kitten did not squeeze itself in -- it was dropped inside by some heartless soul. And just like that, this kitten became a permanent member of the Cat Lair. Her limp healed on its own, and she turned into one of the sweetest, smartest, and funniest cats I have ever encountered.

Mama...give me love... - Squeegee

The Christmas Kittens: Kooky's first litter of kittens all succumbed to that violent virus outbreak that swept through the Cat Lair in mid-2014. After that heartbreak, Kooky became pregnant again and this time, three of five survived to mature and wreak havoc in our Pasig household. And since they were born on December 26, their litter was aptly called the Christmas Kittens.

Prancer - The dominant and most gorgeous male of the litter. He's gray with blurry stripes, and with a slightly orange nose. His markings and bone structure all hint at his mestizo blood, being the son of Slick and Kooky. Has a penchant for following me around and staring at whatever it is I'm doing as if to say, "Wat dat, hoomin?" Very, VERY curious. Doesn't stop badgering me until he gets a pat of approval on his head. Will take over my lap at all cost at any time, even when I'm doing my deed on the toilet seat.

Don't mind me. Just waiting for my cuddles here. - Prancer

Blitzen - My sneezy black cat. Never fails to run upstairs to mess with me whenever I'm fixing my sheets. You think that for a black cat, he'll be justas badass as his color. Wrong. Poor guy has a high-pitched girly meow, and a body frame that's not as bulky as your regular tomcat's. (Blame it on his Siamese genes.) That's why he's usually the victim of attempted rape by the Elder males. Will jump on my shoulder and/or back for some love at any opportunity. (And this is why I will never wear off-shoulder clothes ever again.) Generously offers his belly for major rubdowns.

I iz a boy...wehhhh... - Blitzen

Vixen - The only female of the Christmas Kittens. Tortoiseshell. Her most effective job -- feline alarm clock with no snooze button. Will head-boop me until I wake up and if I still don't, will use her claws on my face, albeit gently. (Pero masakit pa rin, ha?) She has mastered the Butterfly Technique on my phone when I use it for an extended time without noticing her. Tambay ng kama ko.

You awake now? Good! Now, feed us! - Vixen

Ugly Name Kittens: So named because of...well...their ugly names. My recently-departed mom was still alive when they were born. She saw the biggest kit in that litter who was a tortoiseshell, picked it up, and cooed, "Kahusay man hini nga buranday (What a cute kit this buranday is)!" Picking up on that nickname she gave for that tortie, we decided to christen the rest of the litter with just-as-foul-smelling names.

Buranday - I wondered where that name, Buranday, came to be. All I knew was that Buranday is a pet name for young girls in Leyte. Later on, I found out that the real buranday is a fish. (Glug, glug.) Notwithstanding, the name stuck to this cute tortie who, like her predecessor (Vixen), is just as frisky and needy for lap-loving. Yes, she also invades my private time in the comfort room for lap cuddles.

I iz prettier than AteVixen. - Buranday

Bitoy - One-half of the Gray Twins. This little guy is a serious contender to Prancer's Mr. Pogi throne. Compared to Prancer, Bitoy has pronounced stripes and is a rich gray. He's just a gooey puddle of cat love. Is relentless in asking for cuddles.

Such sleep. Much wow. - Bitoy

Butchokoy - Among all my cats past and present, only Butchokoy has a theme song, complete with hip bumping. (Si Butchokoy, si Butchokoy...) Another black kitten who has a penchant for butt-bumping us when asking for noms or cuddles. Resistance is futile -- if you try to ignore him, he'll play-bite your leg into submission. Makes friends with all hoomins he encounters. Already made friends with the carpenter and the cabinet assemblers from Sta. Lucia East Mall. Will probably even make friends with potential Akyat-Bahay thugs if given the opportunity.

Friend! You haz food? - Butchokoy

Bukbok - The other half of the Gray Twins. He's the sneezier one between the two, and he has eyes that remind me of those depictions of humanoid aliens. Also noticeably sakang (bow-legged) when he was smaller. Refutably the sweetest among the Ugly Name Kittens. When Mom was already 100 percent bed-ridden after returning from the hospital, it was Bukbok who chose to snuggle in the crook of Mommy's arm. I have a feeling that he will follow in the footsteps of Tart in the sense that he won't grow as big as a regular cat, and that's fine with me. Imagine if he grows the size of a barge and still clambers all over me.

Mama, kewwy (carry) me -- NAO! - Bukbok

Paint It Black Kittens: When Kooky had this batch of kits, none of them strayed far beyond the black and gray tones.At least the first batches of kittens had a break from the black/gray mold in the form of the torties, Vixen and Buranday. They were born at the same time when a fellow animal lover was celebrating her birthday so I gave her the distinction of giving two names for anyone from the litter -- a male and a female name. The litter of five was eventually reduced to two, and they received the beautiful names given by my friend.

Muffy - The gray male of the two. Looks like the Gray Twins. Acts like them, too. Didn't have to toilet-train him anymore; he just knew where he should be doing his things as soon as he got old enough to do so.

Shhh...stop da noiz. I haz a sleep. - Muffy

Maja - The only one in the Cat Lair with markings that make her look like something the cat dragged in -- on a rainy and muddy day. But she doesn't care much about her mottled uniqueness. In fact, she's so well blended in with the rest of the cats to the point that at just a little past one month old, she was already joining the bigger cats on top of the kitchen counter in their rowdy bullying for me to feed them.

One day, my markingz shall make me famouzzz - Maja

These feline beauties, as well as their predecessors, shall be the leads in this inspiring blog about a crazy cat lady who realized that love -- the kind that lasts forever -- comes in the form of furry little packages with sharp claws.

(#)